Posts Tagged ‘Humor’


March 29, 2011

So, tonight I caught my breath and caught up on emails I needed to sent to people.  Knowing that I wanted to write a short note for here, and not knowing what I would say, I logged into WordPress to do fun maintenance stuff like approve comments, wide our Ecuador’s economy, etc.

And there’s one place where I see what people were searching for when they came to the IBOL webpage.  Two caught my eye tonight.  “define octoberish” and “funny rumors to start.”

Both of these crack me up.  Did you know that Octoberish is a comic online?  Yeah, me neither.

As for “funny rumors to start”, I am at something of a loss.  I only know of a couple of rumors, none of which I think I started.  There was the one about me being 600 years old.  And the one about me being a modern Jane Fonda (you need to see this video).  Oh, there were the Ten Funny Rumors about IBOL from a couple of years ago — maybe that’s the connection.  Funny stuff.

No matter.  Whatever brought you here, welcome.  Stick around a while, watch some silly video, read some semi-amusing anecdotes, and have some fun.

More on the box count, distro, and Houston

October 26, 2010

Busy time here in IBOL land.  Let’s review the bidding.

1.  The box count totaled out at around 900 — which, i have to say, is pretty darn-tootin’ awesome.  I’ll let you in on a little secret — moving by hand all those boxes in IBOL I just about broke me, and I was worried IBOL II would be the death of Nahed.  But she sent me a nice note (more on that in a second) and said that yes, the boxes have all arrived, and that it came to around 900 boxes.  I gotta say — that’s a very fine and respectable number.

2.  Thank you.  I think I’ve said it a few times this time around, but let me say that again.  Thank you.  I’m squirreled away in my quiet life in Hawaii, Nahed is busy making the world a better place in Hawaii, but you –all of you — are what has made this go-round of IBOL such a huge success.  Thank you for your caring, for your generosity, for your willingness to (gasp!) bust your stash in order to reach out and help others.

3.  And Nahed, if you’re reading this, let me again say, oh so very publicly, that you are my hero.  You have made my year.  I had thought IBOL was going to be a one-time hero, but you said you were game and that you could pull it off, and you sure have.

4.  Distro is still ongoing.  I’ve got some photos that Nahed sent, and a wee-bit of background to go with them.

In the middle there, I think, is Ms. Alcy Frelick, the head of the Office of Provincial Affairs at the US Embassy in Baghdad.  She was up in Salah ad Din, visiting the Provincial Reconstruction Team (where Nahed works) and had time to see some of the great things the PRT has been doing — and to visit a local sewing coop, where everyone regaled her with tales of IBOL.

I just love that, the world over, everyone makes cute clothes for kids.  And that red one on the bottom?  It could almost be a Happy Zombie special!

I think I mentioned this before — one of the local radio stations, just north of Tikrit and near the city of Bayji, has a radio station that is both active in the community and active in a lot of women’s issues.  The station was, and I think still is, run by a woman from the area, and she has been a strong supporter of IBOL in the area.  In conjunction with the visit from Ms. Frelick, the station came down to do some interviews as well.  How cool is that?

Do you see yours in here?  Someone will, I’m sure.  These are another example of why I love, love, love the bundle design — a snip here, a snip there, the box comes off, and poof, a bundle of love.  Awesome.

OK, so it’s a little out of focus.  But look — look at the all the thread!  Yahoo!

5.  And Houston.  OK, folks — in a week, the family and I head to the airport and fly across the Pacific and half of America, to meet all of you in Houston at the International Quilt Festival.  Shoot, the excitement is just about going to kill me — or drive me to song.  We’ve got some new threads, a handy-dandy new iPhone so we can take and post photos and videos, and yes, 1000 IBOL business cards to hand out.  Egads — I am sooooo going to be out of my element.  But, I will do my best, and I promise to be nice and police and courteous, and if that fails, to hide behind my kids and made their cuteness will you all over.  I’ll try to make some time to post some of the photos here, but if you want to see it while it happens (and yes, I’ll try to remind you again right before this all kicks off), I’ll be posted a whole lot to Facebook at the little IBOL corner of the world there.  So, grab you family, grab your camera, grab your IBOL shirt, and come meet us in Houston!


September 5, 2010

In keeping with the very serious nature of IBOL, and the great importance of it in my life these days, I think I should explain why I’ve been slow to respond to email requests today.

See, I left the house this morning to go do a 5 mile run through the mountains with my friend, and I came home having been stung by a jellyfish.

I’m not sure what it is, but there seems to be some sort of connecting between my running and animals wanting to attack me.  When I was visiting Arizona earlier this year, right after having a nice meal with Fitzy, my lovely run through the open desert was interrupted by a large, angry bull that wanted to either drag race me, or make me his concubine (for the record, I am faster in the quarter-mile drag race than your average adult bull.)

Running is a normal thing for me, but being attacked by animals isn’t.  I run about 40 miles a week, sometimes more, sometimes less.  I often run alone, though some days (like today) I’ll go run with a buddy.  When I run alone, I tell my wife ahead of time where I’ll be — I favor trail running, often in remote areas, always without a cell phone, and if I’m not back, she at least needs to have an idea of where to send the search and rescue crew.  I’ll leave her the name of the trail, or tell her the night before the general area where I’m headed.  It works well.

Today, though, I was going running with Chris.  I told her last night that I was thinking of heading to the Eastern side of the island, to go run the Old Pali Highway.  But that was last night.  When I got up, it was cloudy and rainy, all of it coming over the mountains from that very area.  If I was going to torture Chris (he’s just returned to running), I didn’t want to go overboard and push my luck my making him put up with my sheer giddyness of running in a torrential downpour (which, for some apparent reason, not everyone loves — what’s up with that).

So, on the fly, I called an audible, and changed our plans.  That was at about 6 AM.

Now, flash forward to 10 Am, when I am getting home.


IBOL SuperSauce

September 5, 2009

I have heard your cries, and I have an answer.

In support of IBOL Sundae, it is time I share the IBOL SuperSauce. When made to the below listed scientific standards, it can produce blindness. First developed by Hammurabi around 1703 BCE, it was considered his finest work and the pinnacle of his career until he got all crazy about the rules and stuff and started to write them down, too. Apparently, my dad and Hammurabi were buds and use to sit around and pass the time, eating ice cream with IBOL SuperSauce; that’s how it became a family favorite. [UPDATE: Super big thanks to CA Sister for the photos!]

Bittersweet Hot Fudge Sauce IBOL SuperSauce

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate
1 cup sugar
¾ cup evaporated milk
½ teaspoon vanilla

1 ingredients


1. In a double-boiler, with water simmering in the lower part, melt the unsweetened chocolate in the upper part.

2 melt chocolate

2. Stir in the sugar.

3 melted chocolate with sugar

3. Cover, and with water simmering in the lower part, leave on the stove for 30 minutes. Stir once or twice.
4. VERY SLOWLY add the evaporated milk and vanilla while stirring. (Hint: I put the vanilla in the milk can and pour from there.)

4 slowly add evaporated mild

5. Give a spoonful to the husband, you know, just to make sure it’s OK.

5 IBOL SuperSauce

6. Enjoy!

6 IBOL sundaes

Refrigerate or freeze leftovers. Reheat in microwave as needed. (e.g. put a large spoonful in a dish, microwave on high for 15 seconds.)

Doubling the recipe works well. Best eaten with ice cream, but come on — it’s so good, you’re going to try some just with a big ol’ spoon, like it’s Nutella or something.

And remember:

1. IBOL Sundae is…. Sunday.
2. Tuesday is the last day for getting boxes in the mail.
3. Make sure you’re using an address that includes “211th RSG” in it.

(This is the old IBOL 1 stuff — you can ignore it now)

Ten funny rumors about IBOL

August 30, 2009

1. IBOL guy is a zombie. Which is totally not true.

2. OMG, IBOL guy does not sleep. Again, not true. OK, only partially not true. I sleep twice a day for 3 hours at a stretch.

3. IBOL Guy was in jail last week, and they totally brought in some other guy Jay Leno to keep the site going. I haven’t been in an Iraqi jail since 2003.

4. 3 airplanes have already crashed under the weight of all of the bundles — and the military is trying to keep that a secret. Um, no.

5. IBOL Guy has made a treasure map to where all of the bundles are buried. Yes, and a giant X marks the spot.

6. Mrs. IBOL Guy has threatening him with divorce, now that he controls more fabric from Sew Mama Sew! than she does. Well, that one is at least in the realm of the possible. But no.

7. IBOL Guy is going from Iraq right to Afghanistan, just so he can start ABOL. Wow — no. I’m going home to Hawaii, folks.

8. Oprah, Ellen, and the Colbert Report are all competing to have IBOL Guy on their show (and Ellen is in the lead). Yeah, that’s totally not true.

9. IBOL Guy is, in fact, Eddie Van Halen the Yarn Harlot. Which would explain #10.

10. It’s run by someone called IBOL Gal.

The week in review

August 23, 2009

IBOL Kitteh - Dis yarn don't go in dat box!

This week has probably brought 10,000 visitors to this site. Yes, that includes repeat offenders, er, I mean, visitors. Still, though — that’s some traffic. My inbox, I am thrilled to say, has been chock-full of comments from folks asking for the address and / or asking questions. Which is pretty darn-tootin’ cool, as I see it.

Speaking of which, I think there are two things I am going to try and focus on this week. OK, three — since one thing is to make the first deliveries.

Theme 1 for this week: humor. I joke about how this started with a vision of bundles that would be measures in tens, but now it’s probably going to be measured in hundreds. Please don’t think that this is work for me. I’m having a ball. Sure, there’s a lot to do, but I still get to sleep at night, I still get my two meals a day. I make it up to the laundry drop off every few days. But it’s a lot of fun. The absolute funniest was a customs form on one of the bundles that arrived. The form has a place where it asks what to do with the package if it’s undeliverable. The sender wrote, “Give to local Iraqi police.” So, look for the funnies this week.

Theme 2 for this week: bigger is better. Some of the bundles that have arrived have been filled with giant ball-thingies of yarn (yes, I realize there’s a technical name of them, I just have no idea what that is). Well, some are just plain stuffed, too. And some of the pieces of fabric have been really big. I see these things, and the little gears in my head start to spin. Small things are good, but big is better.

Oh, and if you’re worried that the rapid growth of this thing is getting to be too much, don’t. I have a few back-channel discussions ongoing with some real-heavyweights about just how big this thing can get, but really, I’m committed to this. You do not need to worry about it — we will take care of this end.

Two Three last things. Bundles from the US, in the flat rate boxes, seem to be taking about 10 days to get here. Traffic to the website, and folks looking to help, increased significantly starting last Friday, a week ago. So, if the weather holds, it should rain boxes late this week, I think. I added a running count to the top right corner of the column to the right (look up top over here —>), so you should b able to check in and see how it’s going.

I have a press guy now. Really. So, attention mainstream media, leave a comment and I will put you in touch with my media guy. Apparently, photos and text and even TV are possible. I don’t know if the Army will pay for me to take a business trip, to be a guest speaker at your Sock-a-palooza or national quilt convention show thingy, but I can certainly put you in touch with the guy to ask. Why am I even mentioning this? Yep — you guessed it, I’ve had inquiries.

And I got an owie.

Apparently, training for a marathon, in the dark on a near-moonless night, after midnight and in the desert, should probably include the active use of a flashlight, not the passive use of a flashlight. I busted up the knee, and sprained an ankle. But I went on to run 7 more miles, just with a slower pace than normal.

Until then, have some more kitteh.

Top cover

August 21, 2009

[UPDATE: I almost forgot! Yes, the new moon was seen, signaling the start of the month of Ramadan.]

Nineteen more bundles today. 19 bundles, and a new pair of running shoes. It’s true — I’ve become a woman. Who knew I would be so excited to get fabric and yarn in the mail, and a great new pair of shoes?

Anyway, the news of the day — besides the 19(!) boxes that arrived — was that I picked up some top cover for this project. In other-than-Army-speak, that means I informed my boss and he acknowledged that he now knows I am doing this. He also (jokingly?) acknowledged that I am just slightly off my rocker.

What are you trying to do, he asked, single-handedly defeat the insurgency in this province?

No, sir, I responded. Three provinces, and I have a lot of help.

Why did I have to let the cat out of the bag? This may well involve helicopters. No, there won’t be bundles thrown from low flying helicopters, but probably some flights to move stuff to others provinces here in the north. I can hide bundles in my room, but I can’t really hide a request for air support.

Before I go, I just wanted to acknowledge two special groups who are playing a key role in this project. The first are those of you out there who are translating this into other languages, and spreading the word that way. Here’s Norwegian (I love your blog, BTW), and here’s French (I love your blog, BTW) as two examples (and here and here for translated versions).

Lastly, I’d like to give a big shout out to all the IBOL Kittehs out there who are working overtime, inspecting all these boxes before they go into the mail. This entire thing would not be possible without your support. You are an all-too-often unsung hero, working out of sight, kneading bundles of fabric, layering them in cat fur for extra protection on the long trip here, and, I’m told, sometimes throwing up on them because, hey, you’re cats and that’s what cats do. So, here’s to you, IBOL Kittehs — thanks for doing what you do.

~package inspected and approved by Sam~

~package inspected and approved by Sam~

A new rule

August 20, 2009

If you send a dozen boxes, you can call me Shirley or any name you want.

Why would I say such a thing? Yep, you guessed it — someone just told me they’re putting a dozen bundles in the mail.

A dozen! Hole Toledo!

And bonjour to all of you visiting from France today. It’s wonderful to see the traffic from one of my favorite places to visit. Alors, je parle francaise comment vauche espagnol, mais Google Translator est mon ami.

IBOL Kitteh humor

August 19, 2009

See? Cats and boxes go together like peanut butter and chocolate.

One story, one update

August 18, 2009

Mail arrived on Tuesday, third time in 4 days. One of the NCO’s comes in and announces, “Hey, mail’s here. We’ve got a lot of it” and looking at me, “and sir, you got a lot of mail.

“Did I get 50 boxes?”

“What? No! Why would you get 50 boxes in the mail?”

“I have this little side project thing going. How many boxes arrived for me today?”

“A lot. Like, maybe a dozen.” (13 actually)

“Tell me when I get 50 boxes in a day. That’d be a lot of mail.”

He turns to another guy. “You hear this? He thinks he’s going to get 50 boxes in a day. Remember before Christmas, when Smitty was getting all that mail?”

So I ask, because I remember when that happened. It even made the press. “How many boxes did Smitty get in the mail?”

“I don’t, but it was a lot.”

“Like how many?”

“Oh, it was tons. Like, maybe 100.”

I snickered.

“What?” he asks. “How many boxes do you think you’ll get?”

“Five hundred.” It was the first time I had used that number with my outside voice. And I gotta admit, it produced a holy crap look on just about everyone’s face.

And I kid you not — the thought that was running through my head right then about the 100-box guy was, He probably does know any knitters.

The update from today is both that 13 bundles arrived (including some from Europe!), but also that we made some progress on the larger, overall project. One of the core units at my base that also just arrived, enthusiastically agreed to get involved. Which means that after me and my unit leave, the mechanisms may well be in place for this overall, larger project to continue on. Enduring. Which I love, especially as we move closer to the end of 2011 and the withdrawal of US forces. I am hoping our work now pays dividends for the rest of the time.